What exactly I want in my life? What is my dream? What is my goal?

I FEEL LIKE IM SUCH A USELESS GURL IN THE WORLD!!!

I had a conversation with Yoggie, an Indonesian Chinese guy that I knew from ELYN 2009. He is studying at Singapore doing his degree and he is younger than me. Im 21 but I still haven't complete my diploma yet. Seriously jealous of the youngsters. I still have one year degree to go. Long way to graduate. I always have doubt on my ability. Yes, I am good in communicating and meeting people around me, but when it comes to serious business thinking, be creative, come out with special business ideas which need to use my IQ and EQ, I notice Im just similar with a 5 year old kid. I so sad of myself and I hate myself for being such a lousy girl! Here is the conversation between Yoggie and me when I was so down yesterday until I feel like im so giving up..

<> enjoyed EYLN 2009 says:
 i met jonQ for dinner just now
  
Sid- says:
 Really? So any special advice from him 2 u guys?
 he stays at SG izzit? is he Singaporean?
<g'z>> enjoyed EYLN 2009 says:
 we meet for dinner only
 not really talking about financial planning
 but, he encourages us to go into entrepreneurship
 some advice on financial planning
 but, not into dept
 depth
 ahhaa
 no
 he is not
 i think he is malaysian
 ahha
Sid- says:
 oh ok..ya he encourage me to go too
 u noe wat..im very upset about myself
 im reli a stupid gurl without any knowledge in my brain
<> enjoyed EYLN 2009 says:
 y?
Sid- says:
 i am not a smart and intelligent person at all
 my EQ is so low
<> enjoyed EYLN 2009 says:
 why do u think that way?
Sid- says:
 people ask me simple ques and simple english words i noticed tat i dun even noe how 2 answer them
 tat's why when Jon Q or LL ask me ques my heart will beat very fast
 cause i dunno wat 2 answer them
 i am gud in speaking and communication but my brain function is damn low
 im so sad and i hate myself
 =(
<> enjoyed EYLN 2009 says:
 u know what, u should not hate urself
 everyone has their own specialty
 you have ur own character
 being slow in responding, does not mean u cant do anything
 it means u need to work a little bit harder than the rest
 u should never look down on urself
 i did the samething before
 looking down at my own ability
 but sometimes, without realising it, i actually can perform
 with some pressure from people around me
Sid- says:
 i notice that i always need people to help behind me if not im lost and i dunno wat 2 do
 this is the thing im sad about
 i cant imagine wat my future is gonna be
 sigh
<> enjoyed EYLN 2009 says:
 every one has their own flaud
 i do have to
 too
 i tend to act fast, but, sometimes, i didnt think through it properly
 the only things that i can do is to look at my good side, and try my best to use it to cover my weaknesses
 human being has instinct
 u have ur own survival instinct and unintentionally, we learn from our experience
 as time goes by, u will be better
 trust me
 sometimes, we only need efforts
 i can only give u this simple advice as u know urself better than me
 come on
 cheer up
  
Sid- says:
 i am better than u?
 do u noe i can sense ur smarter than me a lot?
 seriously
<> enjoyed EYLN 2009 says:
 hahhaa
 dont think too much
 sometimes look may deceive
Sid- says:
 My Eq is similar as a 5 year old gurl
<> enjoyed EYLN 2009 says:
 not real 
 u know that EQ is ur skill to communicate or socialise with people, and i personally feel that i can get to know u easily
 take tiative to know people
Sid- says:
 yes i take initiative to know people
 but when it comes to serious discussion about a project or think and create and idea
 im sucks in it
 people wants u 2 cum out with new ideas all the time especially for ppl like me who is majoring in marketing
<> enjoyed EYLN 2009 says:
  i dont believe new idea can be created that easily
Sid- says:
 i notice tat sumtimes when im given a task 2 create a simple idea on how 2 sell the product 2 a customer.. im panic already
<> enjoyed EYLN 2009 says:
 i personally see creativity as sth different
  
Sid- says:
 where do u think ideas are from?
<> enjoyed EYLN 2009 says:
 my advice, try to calm down
Sid- says:
 not frm ur thinking?
 i am calm-ing down
<> enjoyed EYLN 2009 says:
 from all the things around me
Sid- says:
 sigh
<> enjoyed EYLN 2009 says:
 usually i will see other's idea, look at what has been around in the world, then i try to see it from different angle
 if not, i will combine
 for marketing, u need to look at what the audience's perspective
 appeal to them
 even though the idea may be simple, the impact will be better
 for this, i cant really give too much advice
 my advice, try to calm down, and try to concerntrate
 maybe u need different environment to get ur idea out
Sid- says:
 i dun even dare to keep in touch with Jon Q or LL anymore..
 they are just too smart and born to be leader
<> enjoyed EYLN 2009 says:
 why?

Sid- says:
 i feel like they are giving up on me
 when i talk 2 LL
<> enjoyed EYLN 2009 says:
 some leader are born to be but i believe leader can ben nurture
Sid- says:
 i saw his face reaction change immediately
<> enjoyed EYLN 2009 says:
 why do u think so?
Sid- says:
 in my heart i noe he must be thinking im not the person and leader he is looking for
 he said i am smart
 intelligent
 i can suceed one day
 but i noe my problem
 i just......
<> enjoyed EYLN 2009 says:
 face reaction may not mean bad
Sid- says:
 sumtimes...im so sad until i lock myself in the room and cry u noe?
 my god!! im so emo now!
<> enjoyed EYLN 2009 says:
 eee
 dnt be so emo
 reflecting on urself is good sometimes
 but, dont get too harsh on yourself
 i dont think crying over ur weaknesses will help
 there is always so tion to a problem
  
 think about the bright side of ur life
 think about ur strenght
 strength
 use it to cover up ur weaknesses
 and remember, in this world, u r not alone
 u have family and friends around u
 they will support u no matter what
Sid- says:
 thanks 4 ur advice..i dun hv mood becus of this
 im not giving up is just tat i think too much
<> enjoyed EYLN 2009 says:
 yup
 dont think too much
 we only live once
 so, make use of it
 live it up to the fullest
 one quote that i still remember till now : the successful people is not the one who have a lot of money or own many large company, but, it is the people who always think positive as thinking positively is the hardest thing to do in this world
Sid- says:
 ya i agree with that
<> enjoyed EYLN 2009 says:
 so, try it k
 even though it is hard
Sid- says:
i seriously have no idea wat people will think of me after they read my blog
sure they will think im a loser
wat they will think of me
but i dun mind actually...wat i wan 2 do is finish my studies and think wat i wan 2 do
im fine Yoggie..dun wori

To be successful in future without any experience, knowledge, money, and support from family and friends is really really hard. I actually told myself what exactly I want to do in future? I don't wanna work for people forever. I wanna try to earn money by myself but how? No one wants to give up but im seriously worrying here because im thinking in that way right now. By thinking to give up at my age now is very dangerous and risky you know? That's why im so afraid until sometimes it might bring trauma to me. I always think too much what is gonna happen in the future because no one knows what will happen next. Is too late to plan for my goals after I finish my study. I want to know what I want to do starting from now but I keep on asking myself and lastly, the answer is not there?

CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO NOW??

OR MAYBE NO ONE CAN ANSWER THIS QUES FOR ME, I HAVE TO ANSWER MYSELF??